Ten Guidelines for Dating Earth Boys
by Jacque Nicole
Summary: “If there is no manual on how one should go about dating an Earth boy, then I will just have to create my own.” RS.
1. Chapter 1

_**AN**: What's this? Jacque's writing another fic? How shocking!_

_This fic's just experimental, and I'm not even sure if anyone would want me to finish writing it. This chapter's kind of a test chap, so if you guys like the direction this is going I'll be happy to finish it. I was just thinking that after writing Back to the Present and The Album that it would be nice to write a lighter fic where nobody cries for once._

_I hope everyone had (or is still having) a happy holiday._

_**Disclaimer: **Teen Titans and all its elements and characters is property of DC Comics (c), Cartoon Network (r), and other intermediate companies._

_**Summary:** Boys are puzzles that no girl should ever try to solve. I guess Starfire never got that memo. She's saved countless lives, defeated the toughest villains, and seen things that no one should ever see. Writing ten guidelines for dating earth boys should a piece of cake, right? Wrong._

_**Warnings: **Oh la la. Mild sexual innuendoes and I think the 'A' word is mentioned... somewhere... And finally, there may be grammar issues, as usual.

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**_Ten Guidelines for Dating Earth Boy_s**

**Chapter 1**

**By Jacque Nicole

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A familiar red headed heroine lumbered dejectedly down the halls of Titans' Tower, lost in thought. She walked down a hallway that she found herself in more and more often since the ordeal with the Brotherhood of Evil and stopped in front of a familiar door. She felt so confused and lost that she figured that maybe advice from the person whose room she loitered in front of could only help. After little contemplation, she gave the door quick, hurried knocks.

The door slid open a crack revealing only the annoyed looking face of Starfire's fellow titan, Raven, and darkness.

At the sight of her teammate, Raven's expression relaxed. "What is it?" asked the teenage empath with a level voice.

"Oh, friend Raven!" exclaimed Starfire in obvious anguish. "You must allow me passage into your room. I seek guidance."

Immediately, the door slid open more, allowing the Tameranian teen to slip through. It quickly slid back shut as soon as she was all the way inside.

Starfire walked in slowly, afraid she might trip over something that was hidden in the shrouding darkness of the room. The only light illuminating the area was from the moon which glowed brilliantly through the windows. Starfire could barely see Raven as she stood in a corner on the other side of the room. The only evidence that she was even in the room was the fact that Starfire could just make out the white in her eyes.

After a moment of uncomfortable silence, the teenage empath finally decided to speak. "Aren't you supposed to be watching a movie with Robin?"

Starfire's face fell at her friend's mention of the cause of her current distress. "That is why I seek your guidance!" she whined, taking a seat on her friend's bed. "I do not know what I did wrong!" she explained rapidly. "We were both content, enjoying the movie, when all of a sudden – "

" – Wait," Raven interrupted, holding up a hand. "You have to calm down and start at the very beginning."

The Tameranian teen took a deep breath. "Okay," she said. "It all began when..."

–_Flashback–_

Robin and Starfire reclined leisurely on the huge couch in the Main Room. The lights were dimmed and the small coffee table in front of the sofa held two tall candles that burned brightly. The whole scene was so romantic that the Tameranian teenager couldn't help it when she snuggled close to her companion as he used the remote control to turn on the DVD player.

The title of the movie faded onto the screen.

_The Titanic_

Robin's shoulders sank. _'Great.'_

Starfire's sweet voice could be heard over the opening music. "This is such a beautiful movie, is it not, Robin?" she said as the opening credits began to appear onto the screen.

The Boy Wonder put his arm around the girl, pulling her closer. "Yeah," he replied absently, taking advantage of the closeness to bury his face in her beautiful red locks.

The stupid Celine Dion song that, in Robin's opinion, was overplayed after the movie debuted so many years ago began to play through the television's speakers. Sighing boredly, Robin leaned back into the couch's pillows and stared aimlessly at the ceiling. From within his arms, he could distinctly hear Starfire singing the lyrics under her breath. Pulling her closer, Robin could not help but wonder how people as opposite as they were could end up together.

It had been a solid month since the pair had made their relationship official. After the 'crash landing on the alien planet' ordeal, there had been obvious tension between the two. Robin had never been very good with girls before, so he was relieved when it was Starfire that made the first move. He could still remember the day...

_-Flashback Within a Flashback-_

The Boy Wonder sat on the couch in the Main Room, the same way he always did in the mornings, playing the GameStation with Cyborg. Beast Boy was leaning over the edge of the couch, waiting to play winner. The day began normally, which should have set off alarms in Robin's head in the first place, but he was so absorbed in the GameStation that he did not register the underlying peculiarity of the situation.

Cyborg was whooping his ass in Ultimate Primeape XIV, as usual. The robot's fingers moved like lightening across the game controller, maneuvering his gorilla in an unhuman fashion. The Boy Wonder struggled to keep up.

Finally, the words 'GAME OVER! Winner... CYBORG!' flashed onto the screen, as Robin knew they would. The teenage robot had won fair and square.

"Dammit Cyborg! You _CHEATED_! REMATCH!"

Yes, Robin _knew_ that Cyborg had beat him fair and square, but Beast Boy didn't, so if he could confuse Beast Boy into thinking that he deserved a rematch, then he could weasel out another fifteen minutes of fun before some idiot decided they wanted to rob a bank and ruin his morning.

"I _so_ did not! You must be nuts or something, man!" Cyborg shouted back. Honestly, Cyborg knew what Robin was trying to do. He knew that playing along with Robin's little scheme would make him happy... "C'mon, BB. You're up next." ...which was exactly why he wasn't going to do it. What? Cyborg likes messing with Robin. Who doesn't?

After being unceremoniously kicked off the couch, Robin contented himself by sticking around and having a good laugh as Cyborg resumed the ass whoopage on Beast Boy.

Like I said, the morning started so normally that it was abnormal, so Robin couldn't help but feel subconsciously suspicious as the double automatic doors that lead into the Main Room slid open and a Tameranian goddess slipped through.

Instinctively, he turned around to see who had just entered the room, instantly making direct eye contact with Starfire. At the sight of Robin, Starfire's eyes got this _gleam_ in them that she was starting to get every time she saw him. Like a lost puppy finding its own, she walked straight toward where Robin was sitting.

The Boy Wonder began to sweat. His body began to twitch. Crazy thoughts began to run through his mind. Did his hair look good? Was his cape straight? Did he smell good?

By this time, Starfire had been staring at Robin worriedly for a couple of seconds. She brought up a hand to up his face. "You look like you've just seen a mlargmag. Are you well?"

'_C'mon tongue. Make words.' _"I fine," Robin replied. He smacked himself mentally. _'Great grammar, Boy Wonder. She's gonna think you're some kind of caveman. If only I could say "Me Robin. You mine," clomp her over the head, and drag her by the hair to my room. Life would be so easier...'_

"...Don't you agree?" Robin heard to red head say.

For the first time, Robin realized that Starfire had been speaking the entire time. To avoid sounding like a disinterested idiot, he replied, "Oh, yeah. Of course."

Suddenly, Starfire squealed happily and jumped up and down several times, a huge smile gracing her face. "I knew you would!" she said, swooping down to Robin and giving him a huge smooch on the lips. She pulled back just as suddenly as she went in, not noticing as the Boy Wonder's jaw dropped in surprise.

Puzzled, Robin watched as she happily bounced away. _'Well, it looks like I won't have to be borrowing Gnark's club any time soon.'_

_-End Flashback Within a Flashback-_

They announced their relationship to the other Titans soon after, but they had just responded with confounded looks. Apparently, they had assumed that the couple had made it official long before they were told about it.

Robin looked down at the girl he had pined after for months. She looked so adorable with her eyes transfixed on the screen. The Boy Wonder bought the hand that was around her up so that he could comb his fingers through her hair. At the movement she turned her gaze to his face, their eyes meeting, their feelings shining through for the other to see.

Starfire blushed and forced herself to look back at the movie. Robin chuckled at her timidness.

With one last loving look at the top of her head, Robin turned his attention to the movie just in time to catch one of his favorite scenes – the fight in the pub.

In the crook of his arm, Starfire reveled in the feeling of having her boyfriend playing with her hair. She loved finally being able to call him that. She had known for a long time that they were meant to be together, so, in her mind, she had always called him her boyfriend. Robin was just always too stubborn to admit his feelings for her. Who knew that all it took was a good confrontation to get him to talk?

With a happy sigh, Starfire reached out and placed her hand on his thigh. At the contact, she could feel his body tense up. In an attempt to relax him, she ran her fingers up and down his leg in circles.

Robin's heart began pounding in his chest. Did Starfire know what she was doing to him by touching him like that? She tickled his leg, drawing little designs on the fabric of his uniform as her fingers moved higher and higher up. "Star?" he croaked as she strayed dangerously high.

She made a small sound in acknowledgment but was not really attentive, all of her concentration focused on the film.

Higher and higher still. "Star..." Robin groaned from deep withing his throat.

"Shh..." she whispered. "I love this part."

Her hand kept moving even higher. God, she was almost touching his –

"Star!" Robin shouted as he sprang off the couch, pulling his cape fully around himself.

The sudden loss of support caused Starfire to fall to the side. "Wha...?" she murmured unintelligently, her eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

Robin groped his brain for an excuse. "I – umm..."

Starfire gave him a perplexed look. "Robin, are you all right?"

It was like a lightbulb went off over the Boy Wonder's head. "No! Now that you mention it, don't feel well at all." He brought a hand up to his forehead. "Yup, just as I thought. I have a fever. I'm going to have to take a shower – a very _cold _shower – to cool myself off." He bent down and gave Starfire a kiss on the cheek, making sure that his cape did not fall open. "Maybe we can finish the movie some other time."

Before Starfire could respond he left. For a long while afterward she stayed in the Main Room on the couch, bewildered by what had just happened.

–_End Flashback–_

Raven blinked when her friend finished her tale.

"Please, Raven," Starfire pleaded. "I do not know what I did to upset him."

If Raven was the type to blush she would have done so then. "Starfire, I don't think I can tell you what you did, " she said, choosing her words carefully.

Starfire sighed in frustration. "Why must earth boys be so complex? There _must_ be some sort of manual that allows one to understand them."

Raven nearly cracked a smile at her teammate's naivety. "If a guidebook like that existed then the world would be a much simpler place to live in."

Starfire folded her arms and pouted. "If there is no manual on how one should go about dating an Earth boy, then I will just have to create my own," she announced, determined.

Raven looked back at her friend, humor shining in her eyes. "Well, good luck with that."

"Do not worry about it," replied Starfire as she slid Raven's door back open so that she could leave. "I do not believe that I will be need it."

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_**...End Chapter 1...**_

Number of words: 1,970

_Posted: December 26, 2005_

_Edited: December 26, 2005; January 1, 2006; January 7, 2006_


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN:** Wow, you've all taken to this fic quicker than you did with Back to the Present, which is really surprising since I had no faith in this fic whatsoever. Looks like I've got some work to do, thinking up 10 guidelines and all..._

_**Warnings:** First and foremost, this is a short chapter. Don't choke me. I had to tweak all of the character's personalities just a little (in Raven's case, a lot) to make my story work the way I want it too. If OOC-ness drives you insane, I apologize. As always, grammatical errors are unavoidable._

_**Note: **I've added a small scene to the first chapter. It's irrelevant to the plot, but quite cute, I think.

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_**Ten Guidelines for Dating Earth Boys**_

**Chapter 2**

**By Jacque Nicole

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_Guideline #1 - Be patient with your Earth boy. After all, they are not the smartest creatures in the universe._

The sky was blue the next morning, but not just _any_ shade of blue. The sky was that perfect shade of blue that always deceived a person into thinking that the day was going to be absolutely perfect. There were no clouds to be seen, the birds were chirping, and the flowers around Titans' Tower had finally decided to bloom.

Everything was absolutely perfect.

...Sort of.

Starfire's eyes shot open when she turned over in her bed, the rays of sunlight that filtered through her windows landing on her face. Having never been a grumpy morning person, she quickly bounded out of her bed and was in front of her window in a matter of seconds, taking in the beauty of the outdoors.

Sighing a happy sigh, she twirled around in circle in her room – something she rarely ever did. "Oh, today is going to be _glorious_!" she said, feeling elated. Suddenly, she came to an abrupt halt, remembering the events of the night before. It was like someone had cruelly bursted her bubble. "Today is not going to be glorious," she stated with a defeated frown.

The large closet doors gave a quiet squeak as she slid them open revealing her collection of purple battle uniforms. She reached a slender hand inside and randomly snatched out an outfit, keeping in mind that today she was going to act sour. Robin had, after all, ruined her night, she reasoned. She had the right to be upset.

After slipping on her garment she plopped in front of her rarely used vanity mirror. There were very few occasions that she would wear makeup, so she felt no need to use it. She pulled her chair close so that she could rest her elbows on the surface. Letting out a bored breath, she began to make faces in the mirror. She had to choose the one that made her look the angriest, especially since she would be wearing the face for as long as she could.

If you did not know, Starfire was the type of alien princess to hold grudges... even if she could not keep them for a long time. Just ask Beast Boy, he could tell you. Her precious boyfriend was no exception, despite how much she loved him. He had hurt her, and would be required to apologize before she could forgive him. But until then...

Starfire leaned back in her chair with satisfaction. She chose to make the face a maknar made when someone removed its plimnf. Believe me, it was _not_ a pleasant look.

_Knock, knock, knock_

Starfire's head turned toward the door.

_Knock, knock, knock_

She slowly rose from the chair, taking a deep breath before opening the door, already knowing who was on the other side.

Robin leaned on the wall with a smitten smirk on his face. It quickly became a ritual for Robin to drop by Starfire's door every morning after they began dating. They loved starting their mornings by being with each other, but by the look that Robin saw on Starfire's face, he couldn't help but think that, this morning, she wasn't so happy.

The smile on his face disappeared with an audible gulp. "Hey," he greeted, reaching out to embrace her.

She took a step back, effectively evading him. "Morning's salutations to you," she flippantly said as she brushed past him and began to walk down the hallway.

He stared at her retreating back in confusion before rushing to catch up with her. "Why so formal this morning?" he asked, taking her shoulder to stop her quick strides.

She shrugged him off and began to walk faster. "Hmph!"

The Boy Wonder rolled his eyes in exasperation and stopped chasing after her. _'Here we go,'_ he thought to himself. "C'mon, Star," he called to her from down the hallway. "Talk to me." She stopped at the end of the hall and took a backward glance at him. He smiled with satisfaction. "Let's go out and have breakfast together." She didn't move at all. Robin's enthusiasm did not fade in the slightest. "I'll even ask them to give us mustard!"

Robin wasn't completely sure, but he thought he saw Starfire's jaw drop. He mistook her shock at his audacity to ask her out when she was clearly displeased with him with excitement at the thought of mustard. "That's right, _mustard_," he bribed. "Your _favorite_. Won't you like that?"

From down the hallway, Starfire turned all the way around to look at Robin directly. She was surprised that Earth boys could be so _clueless_. "I do not wish to consume mustard with you today or ever again, Robin!" she called back to him. With one last glare she disappeared around the corner with a final "Hmph!"

Robin was left alone in the hallway to wonder what had just occurred. He scratched his head, puzzled at his girlfriend's actions. After very little contemplation, he just shrugged his shoulders. "Must be that time of the month," he resolved, following Starfire's path to the Main Room.

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"You mean he didn't even realize that you were mad at him?" Raven asked Starfire. 

Once the Tameranian girl entered the Main Room, she quickly found her pessimistic friend in the kitchen, sipping a cup of tea like she always did in the mornings. 'Where's lover boy?' she had asked upon seeing Starfire. The Tameranian princess took a seat opposite the teenage sorceress and relayed the happenings of the morning to her.

"You are just as surprised as I was," replied Starfire, her face sadly cupped in her hands. "I did not know that Earth boys could be so oblivious."

Raven leaned back in her seat, arms folded over her chest. "Are you telling me that after living with _three_ guys for this long you still haven't figured that out?"

"Well," answered the alien princess, "I _knew_, but I did not know the extent of it. Robin was just acting..." She searched her mind for the correct word to use. "Well, he was just acting like a complete moron."

Raven took a sip of her herbal tea, the heat of it stinging her tongue, just the way she liked it. "I think the words 'moron' and 'man' are interchangeable there." She took another sip. "But if you ask me, you were acting pretty moronic too. I mean, making faces to decide how to look angry? You seriously did that?"

Starfire nodded. "I did. I did not know that I could be truly angry with Robin, so I decided to make a face to pretend that I was angry, but this morning... I don't know," she said, looking off into space. "I was genuinely furious with him. His inability to see that I was upset made it worse."

"Well, duh," Raven dead panned as she got up to put her cup in the dishwasher. "That's what boys do to girls. We understand them about as much as they understand us," she said over the hum of the machine. She made her way to the table just as Cyborg and Beast Boy bumbled into the room and headed straight for the refrigerator.

"So," the empath whispered so that they couldn't hear. "Do you still think writing a manual on Earth boys is going to be easy?"

Starfire groaned and hid her face in her hands in frustration. "I had almost forgotten about that." She lifted her head from under her arms, looking at her two male teammates as the began to argue about whether they were going to have tofu or bacon for breakfast. She smiled softly at their antics. "I never said that it would be easy."

The door opened once more to reveal Robin who strolled into the room with a grin on his face. When he saw Starfire, his grin got bigger. Instantly, Starfire's smile turned into a frown. Seeing this change in her friend's attitude, Raven decided to speak. "Don't forget to be patient with him, Star. After all, everyone knows that boys are kind of stupid."

Raven's words caused Starfire to giggle. Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Robin's attention immediately focused on her. "What's so funny?" Cyborg asked as Beast Boy stealthily snuck the tofu out of the refrigerator behind the teenage robot's back.

Raven rolled her eyes. "Case and point."

Starfire just laughed more at the scene.

Robin shook his head and chuckled under his breath. "Boy," he mumbled to himself, remembering how upset she acted not even ten minutes earlier, "talk about mood swings." Even though Robin's words were just barely audible, Starfire's hypersensitive hearing was able to pick it up. Abruptly, her laughter came to an end and her pout was right back on her face. She left the room in a huff.

Everyone's eyes went straight to the Boy Wonder.

He looked at his teammates in confusion. "What?" he asked innocently. "What did I do?"

_**... End Chapter 2...**_

Number of Words: 1,480

_Posted: January 7, 2006_

_Edited: January 7, 2006_


	3. Chapter 3

_**GREETINGS READERS!**_

_**Self Promotion:** The next contest has been launched at the Teen Titans Forum (just go to my website for a link). It's a Valentine's Day one:D Anyone who wants to join can come one down if they think they can beat muah._

_**Warnings: **The rating of the fic has been boosted to T for the mention of the 'F' word and more mild sexual innuendoes. I'm pretty sure that this fic won't get to an R rating because there won't be any violence in it and I don't think I'm going to write a sex scene, but who knows? Not even I have any idea what's going to happen in the next chapter. There's OOC-ness and may be some grammar issues._

_**Note:** If any of you have gone to my website in the past week, you have already read this chapter.

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_**Ten Guidelines for Dating Earth Boys**_

**Chapter 3**

**By Jacque Nicole

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_Guideline #2 - Try as you might, it is impossible to stay angry at an Earth boy._

She pouted.

And she pouted.

And she pouted some more.

She hugged her legs to her chest and rested her chin on her knees as she pouted on the couch in the Main Room. She heard a door open behind her, and immediately withdrew herself even more.

"Go away!" she shouted to whoever it was that was coming toward her. "I do not wish to speak with you!"

"I know," replied the person. "That's why I came out here."

Hearing _his_ voice flared Starfire's anger tenfold. "Robin," she grounded out. "I especially do not wish to speak with you. Please depart."

The Boy Wonder knew he probably should just leave her alone to calm down, but there was a little something inside him that kept pushing him closer and closer to his girlfriend. If he would have asked any girl, she would have told him that "little something" inside him was called stupidity, and that he should not listen to it because it would only cause more problems. She would have been right.

Robin sat on the couch close to the Tameranian teen, but not as close as they had sat the night before. The young man's eyes widened. _'The night before...? Maybe that could explain what's going on,'_ he thought, but that stupid little something pushed down those ideas. Starfire wasn't the type to hold grudges... was she?

"Star, if you don't tell me what is bothering you, I certainly can't help you feel better."

Starfire turned her head to look at him, a blank look on her face. "Are you seriously _that_ dense?"

Ouch. That hurt. "Believe it or not," he said, "I can't read minds to find out what's wrong with you."

Uh oh. She got that _look_ in her eye. That look that said 'I cannot believe that you just said that, you stupid, stupid, _stupid _man.' Robin gulped. "Why does something have to be wrong with _me_?" she asked incredulously. "It is something that is wrong with _you_ that makes me feel this way!"

"Well then, by all means, tell me so that we can be okay again."

She took a long and hard look at him before turning her head and scooting further away from him on the large couch. "Hmph!"

Robin scooted after her. "C'mon, Star. I know that it's your time of the month, but that doesn't mean – "

Starfire's eyes lit up like fire. "Why is it," she said, directing her attention back to her boyfriend, "that every time a female shows any type of emotion, a male just thinks that it is a 'mood swing'!" She began scooting closer to Robin. He began scooting away. "Well, I will have you know that I am _not_ having 'mood swings'. A Tameranian female's cycle is very complex, and, believe me, you will know when I am having mine." She got up from the couch in a huff, walking toward the exit. "I am leaving now. You will not follow."

Robin got up quickly and caught up to her before she could escape him, taking her by the arm. "No."

Starfire looked at Robin, then down to her arm, and then up at Robin again, surprise written all over her face. "What?" It came to a shock that Robin would do such a thing. No one had ever _truly_ challenged her word before, especially since she was a princess. She was not used to being dominated. Deep down, she admitted to herself that she liked it just a little.

"I said no. You are not running away from this argument again – not until I know why you are being like this." She tried snatching her arm out of his grasp, but he held on tight, to the point where it reminded her of the time that he grabbed her like he was now, angry that she was not able to catch Slade, even if she couldn't see him.

She wriggled her arm around, and his grip tightened. The words came out of her mouth before she could stop them. "Robin, you are hurting me." Abruptly, she was released.

"I – Oh, Star, I – " he said, at a loss for words. "I didn't mean to – "

"I know," she said. She looked at him, really _looked_ at him for the first time today. He was handsome, as always, but there was some sort of aura of distress that radiated from him. She hoped that she wasn't that cause of it even though, deep down, she knew she was.

"Look," he said, finally. "Is this about last night?" Her eyes snapped to his. Maybe he was catching on... "Because it wasn't really my fault, you know." ...or maybe not.

"Not your fault?"

"Well, yeah," he said, as if it were an obvious fact.

"Oh, _really_?" She had felt genuinely sorry for how she was treating him for a second. She would not let herself do it again. She quickly turned away from him, flipping her hair in his direction insultingly. She left the room with one last resounding "Hmph!"

Robin stared at the door incredulously. He rolled his eyes to the heavens. "Oh, you have _got _to be kidding me!"

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Raven sat alone in her room, perfectly contented by just hovering in a meditated state to cleanse her mind of everything that had been happening around the tower. It felt good to not have to deal with a distressed girlfriend or a whiny boyfriend for a little while.

_Knock, knock, knock_

She spoke too soon.

The teenage sorceress lowered herself down slowly and walked over to her door. She slid it open and looked through the crack, letting out a sigh when she saw who it is.

"Robin," she greeted.

"Raven, can we talk?" he said. Raven could hear an underlying tone of desperation. She opened the door wider for him to come in. "Thanks," he said gratefully.

She slid it shut. "Since when am I everyone's personal therapist?" she mumbled to herself.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing," she sighed. Assuming the same position she was in when Starfire came to speak with her (although it didn't have the same effect with Robin because the bright sun lit up the entire room much better than the moonlight did), she asked, "So, what do you want?"

Robin sat on the empath's bed, the same spot where Starfire sat the night before. Raven couldn't see how the two of them weren't together sooner. The Boy Wonder combed his fingers through his hair, not knowing where to start. "Well, I came to you because – you know – you're a girl, and you would know about this kind of stuff..."

Raven raised a brow. "...And?"

Robin decided to start over. "Well, last night – "

"Save it," Raven inserted. "I already heard the story from your girlfriend."

The news did not surprise him. "Well then, you know that she's thinking of breaking up with me."

Raven rolled her eyes. "Don't be stupid."

"I'm not," he argued. "She's never been this mad at me before."

"You've never acted so stupid before either, but I don't think you came here to hear me call you names," she replied. "What do you want?"

"Advice," he answered shortly. "Answers. What did I do?"

"You thought with the wrong head."

Robin choked, shocked at Raven's bluntness. "What!"

"You heard me, and you know what I'm talking about."

"Well, I – "

"But Starfire doesn't understand that. She's more innocent than you think. She thinks it was her fault that you left her."

Robin looked at her blankly. "Well... it was."

"You know what I mean. You ruined movie night and you never said sorry to her. That's why she's mad. All she wants is an apology."

"That's all? She just wants me to say sorry?" Robin slapped himself in the forehead at the realization. "Of course! How could I not have seen – "

"You are male. That's what you do." Raven moved from her spot in the corner and sat on the floor, her body beginning to float as she mediated. She cracked open an eye. "You still haven't left yet?"

Robin cracked a smile at his friend's sarcasm and got up to leave. "Thank's for your help Rave. It means a lot."

"I'm sure it does," she replied as the door closed behind him.

* * *

_...Later..._

"Starfire! Get down!"

The Tameranian teenager was barely able to duck in time before a large boulder whizzed over her head. She had been distracted all morning since her little confrontation with Robin. She was shocked that he _still_ hadn't realized what he had done, and when he told her that it wasn't his fault, it made her feel emotions that she rarely ever felt. She knew the term people used on Earth to describe how she felt –

Pissed off.

Starfire stood up from her position, her face nearly completely covered in mud and her hair so tangled that it would take hours for her to get the knots out. Her eyes took on the signature green glow that said, 'I mean business.'

In a blind fury, she flew high into the sky and rained a barrage of starbolts down onto her attacker. To her, it seemed like hours had past before she relented. She could almost see the incredulous looks on her friends' faces when the smoke began to clear.

A small crater now replaced where her attacker once was. Starfire could barely make out the dots that were her teammates slowly crowding around the hole.

Slowly, the Tameranian began to drift to the ground, her hands behind her back, ashamed of what she had just done. At first, there were no reaction to her actions. The four other Titans just looked at the crater then back at their petite teammate and back again repeatedly.

Starfire broke the breached the quiet first. "Umm..." she began tentatively. "Opps?"

With the tense silence finally broken, chaos ensued.

"Dammit, Star!" Cyborg exploded. "That was the _last_ training droid we had in stock. How the hell are we gonna practice kicking ass now!"

Beast Boy snapped his jaw shut. "Dude, you just, like, totally vaporized it," he said in awe. "I knew you packed a punch but... wow!"

"No! No! Not 'wow'. That was our last one! She just screwed us over until the next shipment comes in!" Cyborg ranted.

"Chill, man. You'd better lay off my girlfriend, okay?" Robin said. "It's no big deal."

This made Starfire upset. "Do not defend me like you care about me, Robin!" she yelled, leaving the training ground.

Robin tried to chase after her, but since he couldn't just fly over all the rubble like she could, he was having a tougher time. "Oh, c'mon Star! Now you're being irrational," he said, stumbling over the rocky landscape. "You know how I – FUCK!" he exclaimed, slipping and smashing hard into the ground.

Starfire slowed her flight pace to see what had happened. After all, she still cared about him, despite the way she was acting. Once she saw that he was able to pick himself up and brush himself off, she continued on her way, much to his displeasure.

"Starfire, stop." It was such a simple command. She could have easily ignored him and just kept on flying around the small island until he got tired of chasing her, but there was something in his tone that said that he was serious.

She stopped flying completely, slowly lowering herself to the ground right under her. She found herself standing in the middle of the flower garden that she saw out her widow that morning.

Robin caught up to her shortly, his breathing slightly harbored and his mask askew. "Why the hell did you run away from me like that for?" He held up a hand when she opened her mouth to retort. "Don't answer that." He let gravity pull his tired body down to lay in the beautiful garden. "Sit with me?" She looked hesitant. "Please?"

She didn't know why, but she let herself be coerced into sitting with the boy she was supposed to be mad at. "I know why you are angry with me," said the Boy Wonder.

'_Well, that's new,'_ thought Starfire, internally rolling her eyes.

"–And," he continued, oblivious to his girlfriend's mannerisms, "I wanted to apologize." He held a finger to his lips when she opened her mouth again. "Shh, let me finish. You know I would never want to hurt you, so you can just imagine how I felt when I finally realized what I'd done. I'm sorry I didn't apologize sooner. I should have realized that you were upset about last night."

She was floored. It was just so... so... _sweet_ of him to say that. It made her heart shrink in her chest in shame. How could she have ever treated him the way she had?

"–Even though it was all really your fault."

She remembered now.

"–But that's still no excuse. I should have considered the feelings of the person that is most important to me."

She forgot again. She wanted to run away from him and hide in a hole. She realized that she had been, as Beast Boy had once called himself, a 'total klorbag.'

Robin was getting restless as he watched Starfire stare back at him, her face devoid of any readable emotions. Was she still mad? Did she want to clobber him? Or worse – did she want to break up? He cleared his throat. "So.. uhh... We cool?"

Starfire snapped out of whatever trance she was in at the sound his voice. She smiled softly. "Yes, we are 'cool.'"

He sighed in relief. "Great." He stood up from the flowerbed and brushed himself off before extending a hand to his girlfriend. "Wanna go out for lunch? Maybe we can take a walk in the park afterward."

She smiled up at his as he hoisted her up. "That sounds wonderful."

* * *

_**...End Chapter 3...**_

Number of Words: 2,326

_Posted: January 12. 2006_

_Edited: January 11, 2006_


	4. Chapter 4

_**AN: **Yay! I'm back! Check out the username Teen Titans Forum and read the bio for some info about how we do things at my precious, precious forum._

_**Warnings:** Personally, I really don't like this chapter. I've read it over about a dozen times, so the errors should be minimal. OOC-ness has reached a new plateau here.

* * *

_

_**Ten Guidelines for Dating Earth Boys**_

**Chapter 4**

**By Jacque Nicole

* * *

**

_Guideline #3 - Beware of waitresses._

For the second time that day, Robin found himself standing outside of Starfire's door. He slightly pulled up the sleeve on his left arm to reveal his favorite watch. _'She should be ready by now...' _he thought to himself as he lifted his arm to knock. The door slid open with a quiet _swish_ before his hand could make contact.

Robin's jaw nearly fell when his girlfriend's drop-dead gorgeous figure was revealed. She wore a white baby tee with the word 'IRRESISTIBLE' written across her breasts in sparkling gold letters. A peek of her tight belly was exposed between the waistband of her low-riding jeans and the shirt. When she was in her uniform, she was at least three times more scantily clad than she was now, but there was something about the way she left a lot to be imagined that made Robin's brain go ga-ga.

The Boy Wonder found himself gravitating toward her body, his hands making contact with her soft stomach. "Irresistible, huh?" he whispered, bringing his lips close to her ears. She shivered at his closeness. "I can certainly agree with that."

"You do not look too bad, yourself," she whispered back. Robin smiled. He had decided to ex-nay his entire uniform – excluding his ever present mask, of course – for a more casual attire. He wore loosely fitting jeans and a comfortable white long sleeved top.

Robin could feel Starfire's breath hitching slightly as his fingers slowly trailed up her sides before finally grabbing the bottom of her shirt. For a moment, she thought – or maybe even hoped – that he was going to pull the shirt off over her head, but instead she felt him gently tugging it down.

She pulled away from him slightly. "Robin? What are you–"

"This doesn't come down any lower?" he said, his tugs steadily becoming more incessant. "It's fine if I think you're irresistible, but I don't want any other guys getting any ideas."

Starfire covered her mouth as she quietly giggled at her boyfriend's possessive antics. "Oh, Robin," she laughed, gently pushing him away and walking down the hallway. "You are so funny at times."

Robin followed closely after. "I was being serious," he said.

Starfire turned around, a grin on her lips. "I know. That is what makes it so funny."

The door to the main room opened, the bright light that streamed through the tall windows in the room giving Starfire's silhouette an ethereal glow. The Boy Wonder threw his arm around her waist and pulled her close as he lead her to the elevator. "You know, you're lucky _I'm_ the one that's with you. Any other boyfriend would have made you change."

They both entered the elevator. Starfire pushed the button with a G on it with a slender finger. "You are not worried about the other guys – you just want to keep looking at me all day."

Robin shrugged his shoulders. "Can you blame me? I _am_ a red-blooded male."

"I wouldn't want anyone else," she said, pushing her body closer to his.

Robin backed off a little. Hot Starfire plus an even hotter Robin in a small space _alone_ did not spell good things for the Boy Wonder. "Star–"

"Robin?" She closed the little gap between them and began to run her fingers through his soft black hair.

"Star..." His eyes darkened. His pulse quickened. He wanted to kiss her.

"Robin?" she repeated with a husky tone.

Robin could see the wildness in her eyes. He looked down to avert her gaze. The word IRRESISTIBLE stared back at him. Dammit, he wanted to do more than just kiss her.

Suddenly, the room shook slightly, there was a loud beep, and the elevator doors slid open.

Robin looked physically relieved as he slid out of the small compartment and away from the temptress. "Talk about saved by the bell..."

"What did you say?" asked Starfire as she followed him out.

"Nothing," he replied quickly. He snatched the keys to the T-Car off of the wall and moved to the passenger side of the vehicle to open the door for his girlfriend.

"Thank you," she muttered, sliding into the seat. Robin jogged to the other side of the car and got into his own seat. "Do you have everything?" asked Starfire before he started the car.

"Let's see..." He sat up a little and patted his back pocket. "Wallet – check." He wriggled his eyebrows at Starfire. "Girlfriend – check." He flashed her a sexy smile. "Charm – double check. Looks like we're good to go."

She giggled as he backed out of the garage and they drove off.

* * *

It was lunchtime. A scrawny teenager paced nervously back and forth as he lurked in a barely visible alley. Another strongly built teen leaned against one of the cleaner parts of the dirty wall, his tall body and chiseled face stoically frozen.

"Jason," sighed the taller boy, rolling his eyes. "What the hell are you doing?"

The smaller boy, Jason, nearly tripped over at the older boy's words. "Oh c'mon, Todd. I don't seriously have to do this, do I?"

Todd checked his watch in obvious boredom. "Of course you do; what kind of stupid question is that?" Jason looked like he was ready to pass out. "And the quicker you do it the better. We're gonna be late for practice."

Jason gave one last effort to bail out. "But, Todd, you're my older brother. Surely, you can–"

"Look, Jason. You have to realize that you are a _freshman. _If you want to be on the varsity soccer team, you have to complete this right of passage. We _all_ had to do it." Getting impatient, he peaked around the corner. There was no one there. "You're just lucky you didn't have to do what I did. Sometimes I can _still_ taste raw eggs in my mouth."

Jason began to sweat. "I'd rather do that than _steal_!"

"Oh, grow up, Jase," argued Todd, throwing his arms into the air. "It's just a little pickpocketing. Besides, it'll help raise money for the new soccer uniforms." He poked his head out again as his brother continued at rant in the background. He could see a couple stepping out of a pretty snazzy looking car. They began to walk toward their alley. Todd immediately recognized them as Robin and Starfire from the Teen Titans. In seconds, Todd was able to concoct a devious plan for his nervous little brother. "Jason, do me a favor and shut the hell up."

"But, Todd–"

"Go!" And with that, Todd pushed his brother out of the alley and onto the sidewalk, causing him to collide head on with Robin. They both fell onto the ground with a hard thump. Through hazy vision, Jason could see Starfire flock to Robin's side.

When the red head cast her gaze onto him, the young freshman felt like his heart leaped into his throat. "I–I–I–I..."

Robin groaned as he sat up from the ground. "You know, I'm tired of hitting my head on the ground so much today."

Jason's heart was beating in his ears. "I–I–I..."

"I'm sorry," the young boy heard his older brother's voice from behind him. "My little brother is pretty damn clumsy," said Todd, his eyes roaming up and down Starfire's body as if to say _'Why, hello there, hottie.'_

Starfire gave him a look in return which was meant to say, _'Do I have a stain on my shirt?'_ but it was, of course, misinterpreted by Todd for a _'hello yourself'_ look.

Robin and Jason were oblivious to the entire exchange.

"Don't worry about it," Robin told Todd as Starfire helped him stand. "No harm, no foul."

"Right," Todd drawled, slightly distracted. "Well then, say sorry, Jason."

"I–I–I–"

"Good boy," said Todd as he hoisted his younger brother up by the arm. "Time to go," he said to the two heroes. "Thanks for protecting our city and stuff." And with that, Todd dragged Jason around the corner and out of sight.

As the pair walked away, a now calmer Jason pulled something dark from behind his back. Todd looked down and realized what it was. A wallet.

"Ha!" he said, patting Jason hard on the back. "I knew my little brother had some balls!"

"Can we just go?" whispered Todd nervously, his eyes darting back and forth with paranoia.

Meanwhile, Robin and Starfire stared at the corner the pair had just disappeared around.

Starfire shot Robin a puzzled look. "Well, that was certainly peculiar."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Robin replied. He looked up and saw what shop they were standing in front of. "Oh, this is the place!"

The red head peered into the window of the small restaurant. "Uncle Jim's Diner?" she said questionably. "Are you sure this is the place?"

"Yup," replied Robin as he lead her through the doors. "The name may be a little misleading, but it really is a great place."

As soon as the pair entered, every sound in the restaurant was suddenly muted. Starfire began to get a little antsy when she realized that everyone's eyes had focused on her and her boyfriend. Even the chefs' heads peeked through the doors of the kitchen to catch a glimpse of the famous couple.

Robin cleared his throat. "Um, table for two?"

Almost simultaneously, everyone went back to their own business. Dishes clashed, people chatted with one another, and babies cried. Out of the corner of his eye, Robin could see a pair of waitresses squabbling with one another. There was a short game of Rock, Paper, Scissors between the two before the more curvaceous waitress jumped up in joy. _'Looks like she's our waitress,'_ Robin thought to himself. He cast a weary glance at Starfire who didn't look like she was having any fun at all.

"Hey there!" said the voluptuous waitress, a big fake smile plastered on her face. She sported a thick Texan accent that Robin knew was going to drive him insane. "Table fer two?"

"That's what I said... er..."

"Candy," she supplied, pointing a finger with a long red nail to the name tag on one of her larger than life breasts. "Follow me."

Robin held Starfire's hand as the woman lead them to what seemed like the only open table in the entire restaurant. Starfire looked at the table and then back at the woman. "Excuse me, but this table doesn't seem to have been cleaned."

"Honey, this ain't no five star restaurant, kay? That there's the cleanest that table's gonna get," Candy told Starfire rudely. Starfire shut her mouth and slid into the booth next to her boyfriend. "Here's yer menus," said the blond, bending unnecessarily low to expose her bountiful cleavage to Robin as she gave him his. "I'll be back in a minute to take yer orders."

Once the woman was out of earshot, Starfire turn Robin with a not-so-pleasant expression on her face. "Robin, I do not wish to be here."

"Uh, don't worry about it, Star." Robin almost had to shout over the noise in the small place. "Cyborg recommended this place to me. He says they serve the best burgers."

"Cyborg likes all types of burgers, good or bad," she pointed out just as the sluttress (a nickname that Starfire had decided to give the woman) sauntered back to their table.

"So, have you made your decision, cutie?" she said to Robin, flashing her perfect teeth as she smiled flirtatiously at the Boy Wonder.

"Well, I–" Starfire began.

"I wasn't askin' you, hon," interrupted Candy. Starfire wondered if punching her in the face would be inappropriate.

Robin tried to look anywhere but at the woman's chest, which seemed to be conveniently falling out of her shirt. "A bacon cheeseburger would be great," he said, deciding to keep his face hidden behind his menu.

Noticing his little trick, Candy snatched the menu out of his grasp. Robin was assaulted with an in-your-face view of her copious cleavage. This did not go unnoticed by Starfire. "Ouch!" Robin growled as he felt a swift kick delivered to his shin from under the table. He threw an angry look at his girlfriend. Her face was turned in the opposite direction completely.

Starfire tossed her menu at Candy. "I would like the same. I would also appreciate it if you could refrain from throwing yourself at my boyfriend. Thank you in advance."

Candy glared at Starfire. "Two bacon cheeseburgers and an insecure girlfriend, got it. That should be done in about ten minutes."

Starfire stuck her tongue out at Candy's retreating back. _'The nerve of some people...'

* * *

_

_**...End Chapter 4...**_

Number of Words: 2,106

_Posted: January 24, 2006_

_Edited: January 24, 2006, January 27, 2006_


	5. Chapter 5

_**GREETINGS READERS!**_

_**AN:** Contrary to popular belief, I have not gone into hibernation. I am ALIVE and WELL. I was just too lazy to write any more of this story. School and track practice are truly killers. Add to that the fact that none of my favorite authors have updated their stories and you get someone who loses interest in fanfiction for a long while. Not to worry, though! Spring break has _finally_ arrived!_

_**Warnings: **Due to an almost three month break from fanfiction, I may be a little out of practice. The overall quality of this chapter may be a little lower than usual. Other than that, the usual stuff applies._

* * *

_**Ten Guidelines for Dating Earth Boys**_

**Chapter 5**

**By Jacque Nicole

* * *

**

_Guideline #4 - When you go on a date, avoid the 'bad' part of town. It brings out the worst in Earth boys._

Starfire rapped her foot on the dingy tiled floor of the restaurant. She tapped her fingernails on the sticky table, silently wondering when it had been washed last. She sighed with distraught, averted her gaze at the stained ceiling, and sighed again.

Robin looked at Starfire, becoming partially annoyed by her mannerisms. "We could just leave now, you know."

"No," responded Starfire, tiredly twirling her hair with her fingers as one of the children in the restaurant let out a loud shriek. "It would not be appropriate."

The boy wonder leaned back into his seat with a huff. "I'd rather be inappropriate than be food poisoned."

From the look in Starfire's eyes, Robin knew that they would not be leaving this hole-in-the-wall of a restaurant until they'd chewed their last bites. Sometimes, Robin wished his girlfriend wouldn't be so polite. Just _once_ he'd love to hear her give a big belch in public or spit a huge loogie, but it was not in her nature to do such things. Polite and innocent – such was Starfire. His Starfire. Maybe that was one of the reasons he loved her so much.

The couple sat together at the table in silence, Starfire counting slowly from 1 to 10 in her head to calm herself before the waitress returned and Robin praying that he wouldn't find anything crawling in his burger.

Starfire's ears perked when she heard the familiar click-clack that she had already found herself hating. "Got yer meals here," Candy announced in her drawling accent and popping her gum in punctuation. Without further pretense, two identically bland plates with bacon cheeseburgers on them were dropped onto the table.

The Tameranian princess managed to force a smile on her face. "Thank you, Candy."

"Yea, whatever," said the blond. Immediately, she directed her attention to Robin. "Try the burger, hon'. I promise it's the best one yer gonna find this side of Jump City," she told him, batting her lashes so furiously that Starfire almost believed that she had gotten something stuck in her eyes.

Robin wearily looked down at the malformed monstrosity that Candy had called a burger. He looked up and at the Texan waitress' pleading face and then at his girlfriend's blank expression. He wasn't going to get any help from her.

Resolutely, he closed his eyes and gulped as he picked up the cold burger. Knowing it would have seemed too rude, he opted not to hold his nose as he took a huge bite out of his sandwich.

The taste was nearly unbearable, but the boy wonder forced himself to chew, despite the fact that he already felt his stomach rejecting it before he even swallowed.

Candy smiled dazzlingly. "So you like it, hon?" Robin pasted on a smile and nodded his head in between painful bites. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Starfire trying not to laugh. "See. Told ya – best this side of Jump City."

Robin made a mental note to never visit this side of Jump City ever again.

"Be back with yer check, kay?" said Candy. "Don't go anywhere, cutie," and with a wink to Robin, and a glare at Starfire, Candy disappeared to fetch the check.

As soon as she was out of Robin's field of vision, he made a mad dash to the back of the restaurant, probably to spit out the hamburger, Starfire thought.

After seeing her boyfriend's reaction to the food they'd just been given, Starfire wasn't quite sure if she even wanted to give it a try. "It would be improper if I did not at least taste it," she said to herself. _Famous last words,_ she thought inwardly as she reached for the mustard bottle on the table and drowned her burger in the condiment.

She lifted the food to her lips and took a large bite. Her eyes widened.

* * *

Minutes later, the boy wonder made his way back to his table, skin flushed but looking thoroughly relieved. Exhausted, he plopped into his chair, immediately noticing something different about the setting. 

"Hey, Star?" said Robin in confusion. "Where did my burger go?"

Starfire licked her fingers and shrugged her shoulders. "Umm... I do not know."

Robin raised an eyebrow. "Right..." he said, knowingly. It wasn't like he wanted to eat the burger anyway. He actually _valued_ his life. "So, did Candy bring the check?"

Starfire pointed to the small sheet of white paper on the table. Silently, Robin read the cost of their meal to himself. $12.57. He reached behind himself and patted his right pocket. And then his left pocket. And then both pockets. Alarmed, Robin stood up to check all of his pockets easier.

Starfire looked questionably at her boyfriend. "What is the matter?"

"I had my wallet when we left, didn't I?" asked the boy wonder. "Because I can't find it anywhere."

"Oh," replied Starfire. "Well, I think I have some money in the T-Car. If you stay here, I could probably go and retrieve it – "

"Star," Robin interrupted sternly. "You know how I feel about you paying."

Having an Englishman as a butler at Wayne Manor didn't just give Robin the opportunity to perfect a mock English accent. He was taught to always respect a woman like a proper gentleman, so, when it came to dates, Robin always paid for everything. No excuses. It was a moral issue for him, so he always made sure that he bought everything on the date. It was never a problem before considering he was the son of a billionaire, but even if he were broke, Robin would have still found a way to pay. That's just how old fashioned he was.

"Hang on tight, Star," he said. "I'm just going to check to see if I dropped it somewhere in the bathroom. I'll be right back."

And so Starfire sat and watched her boyfriend disappear into the back of the restaurant once again. Almost immediately, Starfire heard the loathed click-clack of Candy's cheap shoes coming toward her.

The Tameranian princess tried to not roll her eyes. "What do _you_ want?"

"My, my, a little rude aren't we?" said Candy. "I thought super heroes were supposed to be happy and friendly and that sort of garbage."

"Yes, we usually are, but I'm afraid you have spoiled my demeanor today," Starfire retorted smartly.

"Well, _sweetie_," Candy drawled, "I just came to see if you were ready to pay."

"Right," replied Starfire sarcastically. "By saying 'I just came to see if you were ready to pay' do you mean 'I just came to see if I could flirt with your boyfriend'?"

Candy raised her eyebrows. This girl was _smart_. "Well, if the opportunity presented itself..."

" – Which it would not have because Robin is not interested in you," the red head interrupted. By now, the attention of the entire establishment had focused on the pair. Everyone seemed transfixed by the little soap opera unraveling before their eyes.

The attention did not go unnoticed by Candy, and she decided she would milk it for all it was worth. "Whatever, hon. Just pay the bill and leave. Yer startin' to get on my nerves."

Starfire looked in the direction of the bathroom door. It didn't look like Robin would be returning anytime soon. "Certainly," responded Starfire, leaving her seat and heading for the exit.

"Where do you think you're going?" Candy nearly shouted at Starfire's retreating back.

The Tameranian princess stopped in her tracks. "I am going to get money out of our car so I can finally leave this wretched place."

Candy was silent. Starfire realized that it was the first time that the blond Texan had her mouth shut since she met her. "Do you think I'm _stupid_ or somethin'?" she finally answered incredulously.

Starfire gaped at her. "Well..."

"I bet you don't even have any money with you!" Candy accused. Everyone in the restaurant gasped. "Who would've known – Perfect little Starfire steals meals!"

Starfire looked aghast. "Are you _serious?_"

* * *

Meanwhile, just outside the store window, a burly teenage boy watched the sceen going on inside of the restaurant in rapt fascination. Slowly, a sneaky grin etched itself upon his lips. _'Looks like today is my lucky day,' _he thought to himself as he opened the door to the building.

* * *

Starfire's eyes were almost bulging out of her head in shock at Candy's accusation. "Why would _I_, someone who fights for justice, steal!" 

"I dunno," Candy shot back, putting her well manicured hands on her hips indignantly. "I've seen some pretty twisted super heroes in my day."

Star rolled her eyes. "And what 'day' would that be? The 90's?"

Candy grit her teeth together, apparently tired of the shouting match. "Look honey, you'd better miraculously cough up some money _now_ or I'll be seeing you in the kitchen scrubbin' those dirty dishes." Starfire's jaw dropped. "I can just see the headlines now: 'Super Beauty Becomes a Super Busgirl'."

"I don't think so," Starfire heard a familiar deep voice say from behind her. She slowly turned around, spotting the last person she'd expected would come to her aid.

Todd, the boy from earlier that day, gave Starfire a dazzling smile. "I've got it covered, cutie," he said, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket.

The Tameranian princess felt nauseous at the way he was looking at her. "Uh... thank you," she said, taking the money from him as he handed it to her. She threw the bills over her shoulder for Candy to pick up and swiftly left the building, Todd right on her heels.

Suddenly, the door to the restroom flew open and a very confused Robin walked out. He scratched his head in thought as he tried to remember where he last had his wallet. "I could have sworn I had it when we were driving here..." The boy wonder trailed off as he noticed everyone in the restaurant had their eyes glued on him. "Uhh... did I miss something?"

His eyes flew to the table at which he and Starfire were sitting. It was empty. "What the...? Where's Star?" Every hand in the restaurant pointed at the exit. "Thanks... I guess.." he said as he heading out the door even more confused than he was before.

* * *

"Thank you for helping me back there. I really appreciate it," said Starfire as she walked down the street with her savior, Todd. 

"Wasn't a problem," he replied suavely. "I always love to help a lady in distress."

"Yes, well..." said Starfire uncomfortably, "...As much I do appreciate your assistance, you do not have to walk me to my vehicle."

"One can never be so sure," replied Todd as he swung an arm around Starfire's slender shoulders. "This _is_ the bad side of Jump City," he said, gesturing to the decrepit buildings lining the vacant streets. "You never know what kind of deranged predators are on the look out for gorgeous girls like you."

Starfire giggled nervously, removing Todd's arm from around her. "I doubt that I would have any trouble."

Just as quickly as Starfire disentangled herself, Todd embraced her once again with an arm around her waist. "But why attract danger? No one would dare bother you if you had a big man by your side."

"Thanks for your concern," came a not-to-pleasant voice from behind the couple, "but she already has one." Robin roughly separated Todd from Starfire and possessively held her close to him.

Todd stared down Robin, ignoring the bruise forming on his arm from where the boy wonder had grabbed him. "Oh, really?" he said to Robin, apparently mocking him.

"Yeah," answered the boy wonder stonily. "Really."

Todd shrugged his shoulders in admission. "Whatever, man," he said, passing the couple to walk in the opposite direction. Before he went by them, he gave Starfire one last glance and winked. "I'll be seeing you later." He nearly laughed aloud at the death glare Robin was giving him. He shook his head and walked away. "Irresistible, indeed," he muttered to himself.

As soon as Todd was out of sight, Starfire instantly felt Robin's muscles relax. She slipped out of his grasp and began to walk toward where the T-Car was parked near the curb. "Well, now that that turned out to be a disaster, let us go..." she trailed off, realizing that Robin wasn't following her. She turned around and looked at her lover, slightly puzzled. "Is something wrong?"

"What happened?" Robin asked slowly, still standing in the middle of the sidewalk.

"In the restaurant or with Todd?" asked Starfire innocently.

Robin cringed at the thought that something had happened 'with Todd'. "Both."

"Well, Todd saw that Candy was harassing me and was nice enough to pay for our meals for us –"

"What!" exclaimed Robin. "Star, I told you I had it covered! You know how I get about stuff like that!"

Starfire raised her eyebrow. "Well, did you locate your wallet?"

Robin opened and closed his mouth, trying to find a response. "...No. I didn't."

"I didn't think so," she said, leaning against the cold metal side of the T-Car and folding her arms.

"Whatever. That doesn't explain why he had his hands all over you."

"I'm not quite sure. He just suddenly started to become _too _nice."

"Yeah," Robin said temperamentally. "I saw that part."

Starfire sighed tiredly. The last thing she wanted was to be with Robin when he was being moody and acting jealous. "Robin, are you upset?"

"Of course not," said the boy wonder, throwing his arms up in to air. "I mean, why would I be upset? I just saw some strange guy feeling up my girlfriend. Why in the world would I be upset?"

"My thoughts exactly," responded Starfire with a smile, oblivious to Robin's true feelings. "For a second I thought you were experiencing one of your testosterone overloads," she joked. She opened the door to the passenger side of the T-Car and slid into the seat. "So, are we going to the park?"

Robin sighed and fished the keys to the T-Car out of his pocket. "Whatever."

* * *

_**...End Chapter 5...**_

Number of Words: 2,370  
_Posted: April 8, 2006  
__Edited: April 8, 2006_


	6. Chapter 6

_**GREETINGS READERS!**_

_**Author's Note: **Surprised? I updated. :) Spring break was the best thing invented... ever._

_**Warnings: **Yea, there's bad words. And bad grammar. And to top it off, this chapter's kind of short, sorry._

_**IMPORTANT NOTE!** **– One of the next chapters (I don't know if it will be Chapter 7 or 8) will probably cause the fic to be pushed in to M rated territory due to cough raunchiness cough. Don't worry, it won't be a lemon (I don't break rules!), but it'll be... uhh... Let's just say it would be a little hotter than usual (think elevator scene from Chapter 4 minus the elevator). I know I've had a pretty K+ to T rated vibe going on, but anyone who knows me knows that I am anything but consistent. If you have any qualms about this feel free to email me and I'll send you an edited version pronto.

* * *

**_

_**Ten Guidelines for Dating Earth Boys**_

**Chapter 6**

**By Jacque Nicole

* * *

**

_Guideline #5 - Always give your Earth boy time to cool off when he's angry. Bad things happen if you don't._

The ride to the park was barely tolerated by the two occupants of the car. Every few seconds, Starfire awkwardly squirmed in her seat, silently attempting to relieve the discomfort she felt. She wasn't able to pinpoint where it was coming from, but she had an inkling that it had something to do with Robin and his confrontation with Todd.

She looked over at her boyfriend. His hands were clutching the steering wheel unusually tight and the blank expression on his face looked as if it were set in stone. Despite what he had said, Starfire knew that he was upset.

She stared at him for a long while, waiting for him to notice. Out of the corner of his eye, the Boy Wonder could see the emerald green eyes of his girlfriend staring at him unblinkingly, but he tried to ignore her and preserve the silence between them. He knew that if he said anything to her now, it would only result in an argument, so he decided to wait until he cooled off.

'_Who does that Todd guy think he is, anyway?'_ he thought to himself. _'And what was going through Starfire's mind to let him just _grope _her the way he did?'_

He knew that he was being irrational. He knew Starfire would never cheat on him, and would never knowingly allow someone to flirt with her. He knew that he was just being a possessive, jealous boyfriend – something he always told himself that he would never be, especially with Starfire. But despite it all, he was still mad as hell and he still wanted to keep Starfire all to himself.

And, dammit, she was still staring at him with those concerned, innocent – _beautiful_, Robin's heart added in – green eyes.

Unconsciously, Robin began to tighten his grip on the steering wheel. _'Calm down_.' "Is there something wrong?" he asked emotionlessly, finally breaking the silence.

"You are mad," Starfire responded as if it were common knowledge.

"I'm not," he responded sharply. He clenched his teeth to keep himself from saying anything stupid.

Starfire wanted to roll her eyes. Why were males always so difficult? "You are lying."

Robin wished she would just stop talking to him. He really wasn't in the mood. He gripped the steering tighter causing his knuckles to turn white. The car accelerated a little as Robin fought to keep his anger in check. "I'm _not_," he replied.

"You are too."

"I am not."

"Are_ too_."

"Am _not_."

"Are _too_."

"Are we _really_ going to start this? Aren't we a little too old to go back and forth like this?" he asked rhetorically. "And I am _not_ mad, Star," he added. "End of conversation."

Starfire leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms. She had a feeling he just wanted to have the last words, and she was not about to allow that to happen. "If you are not angry then why are you driving fifty miles per hour in a thirty-five area?" she asked with a smirk. Robin immediately slowed down, but gave no response. Starfire gave an annoyed sigh. "Robin," she began, "I know you are upset, but you really have no reason to be. Todd – "

The car gave a lurch, the tires screeching as Robin slammed on the brakes and put it in park. "We're here," he answered shortly before sliding out and slamming the door shut, leaving Starfire alone in the car.

Starfire's jaw dropped. Robin had just cut her off and slammed a door in her face. He'd never done anything like that before, no matter how angry he was. She watched, mouth agape, as Robin made his way to the other side of the car and straight onto the path in the park. He hadn't even opened her door for her.

After recovering from her initial shock, she quickly scrambled to open the door before running quickly to catch up with her boyfriend.

"You had no right to do that," she said from behind Robin as she nearly jogged to keep up with Robin's long, angry strides. "I wish for you to know that Todd – "

He stopped in his tracks and whipped around, eyes ablaze. Starfire would have crashed right into him if she hadn't caught herself in time. "Look, Star, I don't want to talk about it, ok? Just drop it."

"But _I_ wish to talk about it," she pressed. "You are obviously angry – "

"Damn straight, I'm angry!" Robin cut her off. Starfire could have sworn she saw smoke coming out of his ears. "How the hell would you feel if you saw some chick hanging all over me!"

"Do you realize how hypocritical you sound?" she argued.

Robin stared at her blankly. "What are you talking about?"

"I _did_ see that," stated Starfire, "Or have you forgotten Candy so quickly?"

Robin rolled his eyes. Despite their argument, Starfire couldn't help noticing that the way the sun was hitting them, they looked turquoise. "Starfire," Robin's gruff voice said, pulling Starfire away from her thoughts, "Don't tell me you actually got angry over that. You know I wasn't interested in her."

"And you think that I was interested in Todd?" she threw back at him. "Do you not trust me?"

Starfire stared at Robin as he stared back at her in silence. The answer to her question was easy. Of course he trusted her, but flashbacks of Todd's hand around her waist and over her shoulders, and her laughing at whatever he was saying pervaded his mind. His jealously clouded his common sense. Everything he had told himself in the car flew out of the window.

At Robin's lack of a response, Starfire sighed sadly, looking down at her feet. "I see," she said in barely louder than a whisper.

Robin combed his fingers through his black mane in frustration. "Starfire, what do you expect me to say?" he said angrily. "I saw you with my own two eyes just allowing him to... to... _fondle_ you and – "

Starfire's eyes widened in disbelief. "_Fondle_!"

"Well, yea. His hands were all over you." He was exaggerating, he knew, but his stupid mouth wouldn't shut up. "And you didn't do anything about it!" At her shocked expression, he continued, "Oh, wait, let me correct myself. You _did_ do something. You _giggled._" He made a face as if he had just eaten something bad. "You aren't supposed to giggle for anyone but me, dammit!"

"Robin!" she gasped in shock. This was not the boy she had started dating three months ago.

" – And you just _had _to wear the stupid little shirt!" he ranted.

"That is enough!" Starfire yelled. She did everything in her power to keep her tears in check. She was not going to let Robin see how much his words hurt her. "If you do not wish to hear the truth," she said, "Do not expect me to listen to your delusions!" And with that said, she took off into the skies.

And then it was quiet. He was alone.

Robin sadly watched her fly away and the further away she went, the more his heart crumbled. As soon as she was out of sight, Robin suddenly noticed that their little altercation had drawn a crowd.

"Dude," he heard some guy say, "I had no idea that she was so loose."

His female companion gasped. "She isn't loose!" she defended. "He's just an _asshole_!"

Robin felt like a piece of shit.

He sighed sadly, already regretting every word that came out of his stupid mouth. With disapproving eyes on him, he fished the keys to the T-Car out of his pocket and shook his head dejectedly. "Fucking testosterone," he grumbled to himself as he slid into the driver's seat and sped toward Titans' Tower. He need to make things right... again.

* * *

_**...End Chapter 6...**_

Number of Words: 1,318

_Posted: April 16, 2006_

_Edited: April 16, 2006_

**REVIEW!**


	7. Chapter 7

_**AN: **Yea, I know what you're all thinking. Where the hell have you been? Actually, I've just started my lifeguard job for the summer and my time at home has been nonexistent. Besides the job, AOL dial-up is definitely the worst online program EVER. If someone knows of something cheaper and better working, I'd love to know what it is so I can get my parents out of the stone age. _

_So anyway, somehow, don't ask me how I did it, I found time to write and post this. Take it and enjoy._

_**Warnings:** I don't even think Raven should be called Raven anymore because she's so OOC that it's ridiculous. I think that at this point, I'm probably offending every Raven fan out there by giving her the most un-canon personality ever. Grammar's all screwed up, as usual, and there's cursing. This isn't the chapter that I mentioned that would involve hot and steamy stuff. That's next time, and I know you guys can't wait._

_Oh, and one more thing: **HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!

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**_

_Guideline #6 - Having girl friends at hand always works to your advantage. They can be used as an aid to talk – or knock, whichever method she may use – some sense into your Earth boy.

* * *

_

Shit.

Starfire was mad at him again.

Shit.

Why did he always have to screw everything up?

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Robin wanted to bang his head against the steering wheel. Hard. Maybe until he was unconscious. That way, he could probably manage to stall some time before he had to see Starfire again and figure out what how he was going to fix this.

He could already picture the scene: He would knock on Starfire's door, she would ignore him, but after about two hours of his incessant banging, she would open her door angrily and look at him with beautiful, annoyed, wide green eyes.

Beautiful, annoyed, wide green eyes that probably wanted to obliterate him with starbolts.

Shit.

Why was it that anytime he opened his mouth, something stupid came out? Why couldn't he, at least once, get through an entire twenty four hours without doing something completely retarded?

Why?

Why hadn't he just calmly told Starfire what effect her innocent touches had on him that night in the main room? Why hadn't he noticed the looks Todd was giving Starfire when he first bumped into his little brother? Why did he bring Starfire to that shitty excuse for a restaurant? Why hadn't he just kept his big, dumb mouth shut?

Why? Why? Why?

"Because you're an idiot," Robin answered himself. "You're a big, stupid, possessive idiot who thinks way more with his little head than he does to his big one... or that's what Raven would say, at least."

Into the horizon, the looming Titan's Tower came into view. As he drove down the street, Robin scanned the surroundings of the tower in hopes to see whether Starfire had made it back or not. He'd been looking into the distance so intently that he'd almost ran the yellow light that had suddenly flashed red before he could get by. He slammed on the brakes, causing his entire body to lurch forward and the T-Cars rubber tires to screech on the pavement. His sudden stop hadn't made the drivers behind happy at all, and they let him know with a chorus of honks.

Robin felt a flashing pain begin to develop in the back of his head, and began to massage his temples to ward off the imminent migraine. With everything that had already happened today, he definitely wasn't in the mood for morons with a little road rage. Suddenly, slamming his head on the wheel until he was unconscious didn't sound like such a crazy idea anymore.

Before Robin could resort to drastic measures, the light flashed green and the boy wonder was speeding down the street like a bat out of hell.

'I'm going to fix this,' Robin thought to himself as he sped across the bridge that conjoined Titans' Tower with the rest of Jump City, 'and I know just who can help me.'

* * *

The tower was a hell of a lot quieter with Robin and Starfire gone, Raven realized. Without either of them around with their drama, Raven had actually managed to get some reading done instead of becoming the team's therapist, but the empath knew that, eventually, this short-lived bliss would end.

Raven sensed Starfire's approach before she saw her. It was definitely Starfire's aura that she felt, but something seemed... amiss. Usually, Starfire's energy signature was light and joyful, but Raven felt something deeper, a distress that she couldn't pinpoint the origin of. This new feeling was so un-Starfire like that Raven half doubted if who she sensed was Starfire at all.

Starfire was approaching quickly, which Raven found a little odd since the speeds at which she was traveling were way to fast for the T-Car to go. The only feasible explanation was that she was flying home, which made nearly almost no sense since she was supposed to be spending the day with Robin.

'_As a matter of fact, I can't sense Robin at all,' _Raven thought to herself and as soon as she made that revelation, she suddenly realized why Starfire's aura was so off.

Boys truly were morons.

Raven sighed and sat on her comfortable bed, collapsing on her full, fluffy pillows. "I'm definitely not in the mood to be a shoulder to cry on right now," she groaned to herself. He day had gone so well and now she was about to be back where she started.

Suddenly, Raven's breath hitched in her throat as she sensed Starfire's overwhelming flood of emotions entering the Tower. Raven felt Starfire come closer as she used the elevators to make it to her floor. She heard the soft ping of the machine as it unloaded its solitary passenger.

Starfire's footsteps were not rushed as she went down the hallway toward Raven's room. Her stride was lethargic and miserable, two characteristics that Raven never though she'd use to describe Starfire.

The footfalls came closer until they were right outside of Raven's door, but they kept going, as if Starfire hadn't even noticed where she was. Raven heard her red headed teammate continue down the hallway, slide open a door, and slide it shut again.

Slowly, Raven sat up in her seat, slack jawed from Starfire's mood.

'_Wow, Robin must have really fucked up this time._'

Suddenly, Raven heard a loud screeching noise as a set of rubber tires slid violently against the road outside. The empath floated to her window and spotted the unique design of the T-Car as it sped toward Titan's Tower with Robin at the wheel, no doubt. She kept her eyes on the vehicle until it disappeared in the garage at the bottom of the building, an ingenious idea brewing in Raven's sneaky head.

'_Star_,' she thought to herself, _'you'll owe me one after this.'

* * *

_

Sweat beaded down Robin's forehead as he took the stairs up to the floor Starfire's room was on. He ran up the staircase, taking the steps two at a time as he neared the doors and finally bursted through them.

The boy wonder made a beeline, not for his girlfriend's room, but for a door that was located down the hallway from it. He pounded mercilessly on the steel until it slid away and Raven's mysterious eyes were revealed.

"Raven," Robin gasped, nearly out of breath from his rush. "I've done something really, really, stupid."

Raven blinked. "And...? What else is new?" she asked sarcastically as she moved out of the way, allowing her teammate to enter the room.

"No," said Robin, heading straight for Raven's bed. The Azarathan teen assumed her familiar position in the corner. "I'm serious," he continued. "I think I've ruined everything with Starfire."

In the dim lighting of dusk, Robin could just make out Raven's slight shrug. "Yeah," she said. "You probably have."

At this, Robin let out a long, frustrated, tired sigh, and flopped back on Raven's bed loudly. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

She shrugged again. "Who says I'm supposed to make you feel better?" Suddenly, Raven was out of the corner and had moved to one of the darker areas of the room. The new lighting made her look ominous. If Robin hadn't known Raven as well as he had, he might have been scared of her. "This is the second day in a row that you've come to be because of something that happened with Starfire. You've obviously done something stupid."

"Raven, please," replied Robin, combing shaky fingers through his dark mane. "I came to you for your insight, not to be verbally abused."

"I don't care," Raven said. It was such a simple phrase, but for Robin it spoke volumes. "You need _someone _to tell you to stop taking her for granted because the rest of the idiotic male population of the team sure as hell isn't going to.

Robin sat up on her elbows at that. "Raven –"

"No," she interrupted holding up a hand, "let me finish. Do you know how much Starfire cares about you?"

The boy wonder suddenly wasn't feeling so wonderful anymore. "Raven," he pleaded, "_please –_"

"Honestly, I have no idea how she could put up with your bull shit and still love you."

Robin's heart skipped a beat at that revelation. Slowly, he began to sit up on Raven's bed. "Love me...?"

Raven stared at her teammate, aghast. "Are you that blind? Don't you see the way she looks at you? The way she holds you? Kisses you? She's absolutely infatuated with you. By the looks of things, it doesn't look like you feel the same way for her."

"No." Raven was surprised by Robin's tone. He hadn't yelled, but he may as well have. He seemed so sure of himself and so forceful, as if he were completely sure of himself and his feelings. "I do. I just never realized how much I loved her until now."

Raven shrugged again. "Well, too little, too late."

"Maybe," he said, "but I don't want it to be. _God_, I don't want it to be."

"No," said Raven, her voice teeming with finality. "It is too late. I don't know what you did to her to make her leave you, but I can tell it's too late."

Robin began to shake his head. "No. It's not. It's never too late."

"So says the optimist, but who's the one with the sixth sense here?" Raven began taking slow steps, getting closer to Robin. "Who's the one who can feel her confusion?" And closer. "Her loneliness?"And closer still. "Her despair." By now she was right in front of the boy wonder. She leaned down a little so she was eye level with him while he was still sitting on her bed. "Who's going to help her piece together her broken heart?"

Robin stared at Raven intensely. They both could feel the tension in the air and the seriousness of the situation. Robin's answer could change everything.

Finally, the boy wonder's face faltered, and he buried it in his big hands. "You're right," he said quietly.

Raven's jaw dropped and she snapped up in shock. "What?" she gasped. The last thing she expected was that Robin would _agree_ with her.

"I said, you're right," he replied.

'_I heard that, you moron but you're not supposed to agree with me,'_ she thought. "I'm _right_?" she asked incredulously, but she decided that she should try keeping her charade. "Well, yes," she said. "Of course I am."

"I should give up," muttered Robin, face still buried in his hands.

"...Right."

"I should give up."

"...You should?" Raven asked. Maybe she was doing too well of a job with the reverse psychology.

"Yes," said Robin. "I should." Slowly, he began lowering her hands from her face revealing the most vehement eyes Raven had ever seen. Despite the presence of his mask, Robin still looked as intense as ever. "I should leave her. I should run as far away from her as possible before I hurt her again, but, damn it all, I'm not going to."

His proclamation was music to Raven's ears. "You're not," she sighed in relief.

"Raven, I didn't realize it before, but I love Starfire. I don't know why it never dawned on me, but I feel that if I lose her, I'll lose a part of myself. God, it scares me so much to think about it, but I can picture her not being part of my life."

Raven nodded in understanding. "So, what are you doing to do?"

Robin stood from Raven's bed, still looking at her with his intense eyes. "I'm going to get my girl back," he said before making a quick exit down the hallway and finally leaving Raven alone in her room.

She sighed a long, happy, tired sigh and began floating in her meditation position. "Starfire," she said, closing her eyes, "you owe me one."

* * *

**Number of Words: 2,006**

_Posted: May 29, 2006_

_Edited: May 29, 2006_


	8. Chapter 8

_**HEY!**_

_Yea, I know it's been a while, but I updated, ok? I know I said that this chapter will be raunchy, by I decided tokeep the sexiness for the next chapter since coming up with 10 guidelines isn't easy. I hope you enjoy this chap!__

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_

_Guideline 7 - It is good to kiss and make up.

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_

Today had definitely been one of the worse days in Starfire's life.

When she woke up that morning, she'd expected to enjoy a wonderful day with her boyfriend, but what she got instead certainly wasn't what she'd had in mind.

Instead of eating a peaceful lunch at a cozy little restaurant, she'd gotten the burger joint from hell, with devilish employees to boot. Just thinking about Candy made Starfire quiver in anger. She'd met a charming, albeit persistent, boy, and was grateful for the help he gave her, but Robin had misinterpreted her politeness as flirtation, and said, terrible, horrible things about her for it.

Yes, today had definitely been one of the worse days in Starfire's life, and now she was alone in her bedroom, buried in fluffy purple pillows and blankets, quietly sobbing.

The Tameranian princess slowly sat up, gently wiping tears away from her damp cheeks. "Why had I been so angry at him?" she questioned herself. "I did not _have_ to be so brash. Maybe he hadn't realized that his words had hurt my feelings so badly. Maybe he really wasn't interested in Candy and maybe his jealous actions against Todd were justifiable." She thought deeply of her words before she began to sob again.

She knew, despite how much she wanted to forget, how unnecessary and hurtful Robin's actions had been.

She rolled over on her heavily pillowed bed and gently blotted a few stray tears away from her eyes with her purple blanket. "I should not feel this terrible," she said to herself. "He is simply a boy. One should not weep so heavily for matters such as these."

'_He's simply a boy,'_ she repeated to herself in her thoughts, but she knew that Robin was much, much more than 'simply a boy.' After all, if he was just a boy, she wouldn't be weeping for him in her bedroom, all alone.

For some reason, this revelation seemed to increase Starfire's tear production tenfold. _'Why is it that such misfortunes always seem to befall unto me? Have I done something so terrible that I am destined to be punished with unhappiness for the rest of my life?'_

Starfire had no time to ponder her thoughts because, before she had the opportunity to bury her face in her pillow once again, there was a loud boom, and then the familiar 'swishing' sound of her door sliding open.

She looked up to see who it was, but she already knew before she saw his piercing eyes staring into her sorrowful green eyes.

"Starfire," she heard the voice that had said so many hurtful things to her merely an hour ago say. "We need to talk."

* * *

If anyone had seen Robin walking down the empty hall toward Starfire's door, they would have seen a very determined teenager. His masked eyes were staring directly at his destination, never wavering their position. His fists were clenched so tightly that Robin was certain that his knuckles had gone pale white. His strides were long and quick, never slowing or faltering.

If anyone had seen Robin walking down the empty hall toward Starfire's room, they would have deftly moved out of his way, for Robin looked like a man on the most important mission of his life.

As far as Robin was concerned, he was.

After a few more quick strides, he finally came to a halt in front of a very familiar door. A cute little sign that read _'Starfire's Room'_ in flowery purple lettering hung on the outside.

Robin had fought evil masterminds, encountered deranged lunatics, and thwarted the plans of dastardly criminals, but none of his past experiences made him feel the way he was feeling right now.

His stomach was churning. His palms were sweating. His face was as pale as a sheet.

Robin was nervous as hell.

'_Is this what it feels like to be in love?'_ he joked to himself in attempt to relax himself, but failing miserably.

The Boy Wonder took a deep calming breath before raising a fist, preparing to knock on his girlfriend's – _'Ex-girlfriend's?'_ he wondered to himself, then forcibly shaking his head – door, when he heard a faint, nearly inaudible sound. Robin lowered his hand, moving his head to get closer to Starfire's door. His ear was nearly pressed against it before he could decipher what he heard.

It was Starfire, and it sounded like she was crying.

For what seemed like the billionth time that day, Robin's heart was crushed. With each faint sob he heard he felt like it was being pummeled by a team of professional athletes.

'_Why am I so good at upsetting her, damn it!'_ he wondered to himself. _'She must feel so low, after everything I said to her. What the hell was I thinking, yelling at her the way I did?'_ he thought. _'I have to apologize to her.'_ And he made his decision then and there with absolute finality, but he couldn't help wondering, _'what if she doesn't accept it?'_

And Robin's afterthought, of course, rekindled his nervous hysteria to the point where the Boy Wonder became fed up with his own pitiful actions.

"This is all so fucking ridiculous," he muttered angrily.

Robin decided that, by the way Starfire was feeling now, she probably wouldn't allow him into her room if he knocked, so he raised his hand to Starfire's door console and punched in the pin number that he knew by heart.

"7-8-2-7," he said as he tapped the pad. "S-T-A-R."

'_Access denied.'_

"What the...?" Robin muttered out loud. He tried the pin again.

_**7-8-2-7**_

The same message appeared on the small screen in bold red letters.

'_Access denied.'_

"What the hell is wrong with this thing? I _know_ that this is the code. I helped her set it up, for Christ's sake," he grumbled crossly. He tried the numbers again.

_**7-8-2-7**_

'_Access denied.'_

And again.

_**7-8-2-7**_

'_Access denied.'_

And again.

_**7-8-2-7**_

'_Access denied.'_

By now he was so fed up with the machine that he was punching the numbers in so hard that the whole console shook with each entry.

"Dammit! What the hell!" the Boy Wonder nearly yelled, but he managed to keep his voice down. If Starfire heard him outside her door yelling like a madman she wouldn't let him in her room for sure. "I'm going to do this one last time," he said, teeth clenched in fury. "If it doesn't work this time..."

_**7-8-2-7**_

'_Access denied.'_

"THAT'S IT!" he growled. "I'M BLOWING IT UP!"

Before he had a chance to calm down or comprehend what he was doing, the Boy Wonder whipped out an explosive birdarang from his utility belt and flung it with precise aim at the little console.

The little machine exploded upon contact, and, without its security system, the steel doors automatically slid open.

The first things he saw were her eyes.

And they were full of tears.

"Starfire," he said, his breathing slightly labored from his residual anger. "We need to talk."

* * *

They stared at each other for what seemed like hours.

He looked exhausted, she noticed, with his cape slightly askew and his utility belt sitting crookedly on his hips. If his spandex pants were able to be wrinkled, she was sure they would have been. His eyes were on her in a way that made her feel like if he took his gaze away, even for one second, she would die.

'How does he make me feel this way?' she wondered. 'How?'

She looked exhausted, he noticed, with her hair frizzed out and her eyes bloodshot. He could just make out dried tear tracks on her cheeks in the dim lighting of her room, but he tried his best to ignore them. Her eyes were on him in a way that made him feel like if she took his gaze away, even for one second, he would be lost forever.

'I never want to lose you,' he thought. 'Never.'

And they stared at each other, for what seemed like hours.

Finally, they spoke.

"Starfire – "

"Robin – "

And at the same time, they both averted their gazes, embarrassed after talking over each other.

"Robin," Starfire began tentatively, "We do _not_ have to talk."

Immediately, his eyes locked with hers again. "Why wouldn't your code work?" he asked, his gaze never wavering.

She scrunched her eyebrows up in confusion, his reply completely throwing her off. "Excuse me?"

"_Your code_," he said slowly, as if explaining it to a child. "7-8-2-7. Why wouldn't it open the door?"

'_Oh,'_ she thought, finally understanding. "I changed it," she told him.

She changed it. He should have known. He took a deep, shuttering breath. "To keep me out?" he asked, even though he knew what he answer would be.

She broke her eyes away from his and looked at the floor once again. Obviously, her reply was a 'yes'. "But, it seems you got in here anyway," she said with sarcasm, something she rarely ever used, especially toward Robin.

He began making his way toward her bed. "Because we _need_ to talk," he told her earnestly.

She shook her head, holding up a hand as if to stop his advancements. "Robin – "

By now, he was at the foot of her bed, close enough to touch her if he reached out. He stared at her once more, wondering how he possibly could have driven her away. "I'm sorry," he said finally.

Starfire began shaking her head faster, as if the more she denied him, the faster he'd leave her alone. "Robin," she said, scooting back further on her large bed. "Don't – "

"No," he said strongly, leaning onto the edge of the Tameranian princess's mattress. "I need to say this, and you need to hear it, rather you think so or not."

Starfire couldn't believe Robin's audacity. Who did he think he was, busting into her room like he owned the place and then practically commanding her to listen to what he had to say? He had no right to command her to do _anything_, especially after everything that had happened that day.

But then again, he _did_ sound pretty genuine...

"Fine," she finally said. "I will listen, but that does not mean I am going to change my mind. Robin..." She looked away, feeling tears beginning to burn her eyes once again. "You hurt me very much today."

"I know," he replied sincerely. "And I'm sorry... So very, truly sorry."

"Is that it?" she shot back at him, her voice becoming heated. She sat forward so she was closer to him, managing to look more intimidating with the movement. "Do you think you can just blow my door open, say sorry, and then reset everything that's happened?"

He slumped over tiredly. "Not quite, but, in a nutshell, yes."

"Then you may leave right now," she fired back, "because it is not going to work."

Robin sighed again before taking time out to climb all the way onto Starfire's bed, scaling his way over the many pillows covering it to get to the head, where Starfire sat. As he got closer, she attempted to back away but soon realized that she had no more room left. She was trapped. "Just shut up," he said strongly, finally right next to her. "Shut up and listen to what I have to say, okay. And don't do that thing you do when you say you're listening, and you really aren't."

She _humphed_ in a very unladylike way, but didn't give a snappy response. Robin considered it progress.

"Okay," he said, slumping into the pillows. "I don't really know how to say this..." Starfire could see that he was struggling with his words. She almost felt sorry for him. _Almost._ "Well," he continued, raking his sweaty hand nervously through his sleek jet black hair, "I spoke to Raven before I came here – "

Starfire's eyes went wide in shock. "I _knew_ it. She put you up to this, did she not? Whatever she said to you to force you to apologize to me, ignore it."

Robin shook his head forcibly. "_No_, Star. She did _not_ force me to do or say _anything_ to you. Hell, she was actually trying to get me to leave you alone."

"Then she obviously has my best interests in mind."

Robin ignored her. "Raven helped me realize how important you are to me. I know this may sound a little corny, but I didn't realize how much you meant to me until now." He paused to look directly at her. She still wore a scowl on her face.

"Robin, you practically called me a slut in the middle of a park," she deadpanned.

"Like I said, I didn't realize how much you meant to me until now. I was..." he paused, searching for the right words. "I was being a total klorbag."

A smile itched the corner of Starfire's mouth up slightly, but she managed to keep it hidden. He definitely wasn't going to get off that easily. "Yes, you certainly were."

"Raven helped me realize how deep my feelings for you go. When I think of the things I said to you in the park..." he paused, looking away from her. "Well, let's just say I'm not proud of it. Believe me, Star. If I could go back in time to take those words back, I would have."

He returned his gaze to her, eyes full of emotion. "Sometimes I can't control what comes out of my mouth, you know? You make me feel so many things all the time... All I can do is react. I know that's a stupid excuse for everything that's happened today, but you can make me feel things I don't necessarily want to feel, do things I don't necessarily want to do... And I like it."

At some point in Robin's little speech, the Boy Wonder managed to get so close to Starfire that their hips were touching. His hand found it's way to her cheek, gently caressing her there. "I don't want what we have to end, Star," he said finally. "I never want it to end because..."

He took a deep breath then, mustering up the courage to say what he knew had to be said. "Because, Starfire," he told her, pouring every inch of his soul into his words. _"I love you."_

And he kissed her.

* * *

**Number of Words: 2,403  
**_Posted: July 4, 2006  
Last Edited: July 4, 2006_


	9. Chapter 9

_**AN:** Welp, here's the next chapter. It's a little on the hot side, but definitely not a lemon. This story's still rated T, I promise. Enjoy_

_**Ten Guidelines for Dating Earth Boys**_

**Chapter Nine**

**By Jacque Nicole**

_Guideline #8—Kissing for long periods of time can lead to uncontrollable behavior._

_OR_

_Make sure you lock the door._

'_Well, the hallway is quiet, for once,'_ Raven thought to herself as she stood in her open doorway, leaning against the frame. Times where Raven was able to be out of her room—even if it was only a little—and not be annoyed by her other teammate's antics or problems came only once in a blue moon.

Robin and Starfire were busy being all lovey dovey and Cyborg and Beast Boy were doing God knows what, but none of it mattered to the teenage sorceress. The most important thing was that whatever her other friends were doing did not involve her getting a headache.

And that was good.

Yes, the hallway was quiet.

Silently, Raven counted under her breath.

Suddenly, there was a _ping_ and a _swoosh_ing noise as the elevator doors slid open. A very agitated looking Cyborg clamored out, making a direct beeline for Starfire's room with a small sheet of paper in tow.

Raven sighed. _'Twenty three seconds of complete silence,'_ she thought. _'A new record.'_

She went inside her room, sliding the door shut behind her.

**XOXOXOXOX**

'_I'm going to _kill_ her,'_ Cyborg thought angrily as he stomped down the hallway.

The teenage robot looked at the small sheet of paper in his hands again. It read in little typed lettering: **_'2006 LexCorp Model G7Z6 Combat Droid—$89,999.'_ A **picture of a robot identical to the one Starfire had obliterated earlier that day was featured in the middle of the page.

Cyborg clenched his fist, thoroughly crumbling paper. _'I'm definitely going to _kill_ that girl.'_

"She obviously has no regard for our equipment… or our finances, for that matter," Cyborg muttered agitatedly under his breath. He grew nearer to Starfire's door, noticing it was slightly open. Boy, was he going to give her an earful when he saw her. "Who the hell does she think she is, blowing up robots like they were her personal punching bags?" he grumbled as he approached her door, sliding it open. "Just because she's dating the man in charge doesn't give her the right to—"

And then he got a good look at what was going on inside the room.

He blushed.

Piercing blue eyes locked with Cyborg's brown one.

"Out," said a deep, gravely voice. Cyborg felt like a deer in headlights. "Now!"

And the teenage robot high-tailed his ass out of there, completely forgetting why he'd gone there in the first place.

**XOXOXOXOX**

…**Minutes Earlier…**

And he kissed her.

It was a soft, gentle kiss, barely a brush of lips. Robin could smell Starfire's intoxicating scent and could feel her erratic breathing against his cheek, but she wasn't kissing him back. Robin was half expecting this, but did not think it would hurt him this badly. He put a little more pressure into the kiss, willing the sting of rejection to disappear.

She still wasn't responding.

Robin's actions didn't fully register in Starfire's mind. The speech, his proclamation, the kiss… it was all a little too much for her. By the time she'd gotten over the initial shock, she didn't know what to do. He pushed into her harder. Should she pull away?

Then she remembered what he had said. _'Starfire, I love you.'_ She'd waited so long for him to finally say that to her. How was she supposed to react?

She pulled away.

Robin didn't look at her. He couldn't, not after what she just did.

She didn't love him back.

He felt like he was going to die.

Suddenly, the Boy Wonder felt warmth on his cheeks as Starfire held his face within her hands. She tilted his head upward so that he was looking at her directly in the eyes. They portrayed no emotion.

Robin wanted to get away before he was hurt even more.

And then she spoke.

"Say it again," she whispered.

He stared at her in confusion. "Starfire…"

She took a deep breath. "Please," she nearly whimpered, gravitating closer to the Boy Wonder. "Say it again."

He answered her without any hesitation.

"I love you."

And she kissed him.

It was a passionate, powerful kiss—one that only lovers would share. He pulled her close, haphazardly dragging her down to the bed with him as he lost his balance on her mountains of pillows, but never breaking contact. She tilted her head to the side, effectively deepening the kiss. She moaned softly as she felt Robin's tongue lightly probing her lips, begging for passage.

When Starfire parted her lips, her world erupted in fireworks as she felt Robin's tongue enter her mouth. He explored every nook and cranny of her before contentedly allowing her own tongue do the same. Robin slid his fingers through her hair as he pushed closer to her, molding their bodies together on the bed.

Suddenly, it was too hot.

Abruptly, Robin broke the kiss, keeping eye contact with Starfire, who made a small sound of reluctance when he pulled away. He quickly took off his sweater and beater, her smoldering gaze never leaving his.

Starfire's dainty fingers ran up and down Robin's bare chest. His wandering hands slid up and under Starfire's T-shirt as his pressed his lips against hers again. She moaned as he slowly caressed her sides and stomach with his gentle fingers.

She slowly broke the lip-lock and began delivering sweet butterfly kisses along his jaw. She leisurely made her way from there down his neck, and then back up to his earlobe. Experimentally, she reached out with her tongue and gave it a quick lick.

Suddenly, he changed their positions—her on top now, straddling his thighs. Robin leaned up to her own ear and hotly whispered, "That's my 'spot.'"

He leaned back on the bed and removed her 'irresistible' tee with her help. His eye's widened at the sight of her lacy purple bra. Starfire's breasts weren't huge like Candy's but they were just the right size, Robin decided. He reached up and squeezed them both gently, Starfire tossing her head back in pleasure.

She moaned from somewhere deep within her, placing her own hands over Robin's. She looked down from him with those dark, sexy eyes.

Robin's pants felt way too tight.

Suddenly, the door swished open. Instinctively, Robin grabbed Starfire to him, flipping her so she was back on the bottom and out of the view of the intruder.

Angry and frustrated, Robin looked back to see who had invaded their special moment.

Cyborg.

Their eyes locked, Cyborg looking like a tomato, and Robin feeling like he wanted to strangle his best friend.

"Out," he growled, too angry to form real sentences. When Cyborg just stood there, he nearly lost it. "Now!" he barked loudly.

And then he left as quickly as his legs could carry him.

Robin closed his eyes and sighed. He looked back down at Starfire.

Her eyes still held that smoldering look they had gotten, and she was licking her lips. Robin couldn't stop noticing the rise and fall of her breasts as she panted.

He closed his eyes once again and rolled off of her.

"Shit," he muttered, burying his face in a pillow.

He felt her move on the bed. She brought her mouth close to his ear. "I do not wish to stop," she whispered.

He turned his head and looked at her. Her lips were swollen. There was an area just above her collarbone that was beginning to turn a bright shade of red. Robin had been so overcome by the heat of the moment that he could not even recall giving her the hickey. His gaze traveled downward, taking in Starfire's cleavage in all its glory before averting his eyes again.

"We have to," he answered back to her.

She did not pose an argument, the spell already having been broken. She reached out to him, caressing his face once more—the mask having been knocked off sometime during their extreme make out session—and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

She slid out of the bed and walked over to her slightly damaged bedroom door, closing tightly and latching it shut. "I do not understand, Robin," she said as she made her way over to him, picking up pillows that littered the floor, throwing them back on the bed, and turning off her bedroom lights. "Why must we stop ourselves from doing what we both desire?"

It gave Robin a warm feeling inside to know that Starfire desired to do _something_ with him as much as he wanted to do it with her. "I want our first time together to be special, Star," he told her. "Candlelight, mushy love music and all that kind of stuff. Not like this."

"Not like this?" she asked, sliding back into bed with him. She was still topless, Robin noticed. "What is wrong with this?"

"I took advantage of you," he said. "I shouldn't have done that. I'm sor—"

Before he could finish his apology, Starfire silenced him with a finger on his lips. "If I remember correctly, it was I who initiated the second kiss."

"But, Star—"

"Hush," she told him and she molded her body against his in the spooning position, her in front of him. He automatically put his arm around her waist. "We shall speak of this tomorrow, yes? But right now, we rest. We have had a very long day."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," he agreed, already feeling exhaustion overtaking him. Just as he was dozing off, he suddenly remembered something. "Do you realize how much shit we're gonna get for this tomorrow? If I know Cyborg, everyone in the tower knows by now."

He felt her shrug. "I do not mind." And she relaxed again, lulling herself back to sleep.

"Starfire?" she heard Robin's voice whisper.

"Yes?" she murmered back.

"Do you think you can put a shirt on?" She simply giggled at his request.

There was a moment of silence before he spoke again. "Starfire?"

"Yes?"

"Good night," he said.

"Pleasant dreams, Robin."

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," she told him.

And then they both went to sleep.

…_**End Chapter Nine…**_

Length: 1,724

_Posted: August 21, 2006_

_Last Edit: August 21, 2006_


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